Friday, January 8, 2021

Same ol' same ol'

 So.. it's 2021 now huh? I'm 24 this year? Now I'm one of those people in their mid twenties and having a quarter life crisis. Oh my goddddd I hate this so much. Time is just, so mysterious. It heals all wound but at the same time injures. Oh how I wish it just stops for like idk.. a month? so that I can grasp everything that's in front of me. My life is now just a blur of faded memories. I'm so scared that 10 years from now I won't even remember this moment. I won't even remember what it feels like to live in Germany. 

So I'm supposed to finish my Bachelors Degree in 2 months. Can you even believe that? It feels like just last year I flew to Germany for the first time (blog post here) now I'm almost finished? What have I gained for 4 years... hmm weight? 10 kilos of that for sure. German proficiency? Not so much :/ Friends? Lol, in my dreams. Hmm,. I have no idea. And I totally have no idea how I got here either. How did I pass all those exams? I just winged them honestly. Yet somehow God helped me pass them all. I'm not gonna be self-centered and say I worked hard for it. I did have a lot of hard times, sure, but my efforts are not even half of what my other classmates/ batchmates went through. I got lucky so many times, I really have to thank Allah for that. Now I want to do Masters?? Ahahaha what a joke 웃기고 있네.

It's just so sad that even when everything is okay, there's just this void feeling, this longing for the lost times. And I can't do anything except walk down memory lane. I know, it can't be helped. Life goes on. If it's gonna happen, it will happen, right? Not even one second late.

Hmm,.. que sera sera.

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