Wednesday, November 1, 2017


Wie die Zeit vergeht. Time flies so fast that I am now finally entering university (other people are already in their 3rd Semester but it's okay haha). Well, it has been a month since I became an official student in Hochschule Augsburg (University of Applied Sciences Augsburg). People would've struggled with these 5 subjects that I take but crazy me added 2 more subjects to that burden which are chinese and korean. That was a stupid idea, I KNOW! But I just love these languages I can't give up on either of them. When I know my school offered these courses, I can't help but enroll. That is why I don't actually tell that to people bcs every person I tell it to, they have the 'you sure you're gonna make it?' face. Well, guess what, I don't know either. Haha. I will just try anyway.
Truthfully, I fell in love with Augsburg on the first day. Is it because it's pretty? Is it because it's serene? Or is it because I was warmly welcomed by a really nice girl? It's all of them! Most shops are just a walk away. And the best part is my apartment is just beside the HS. Score! It is such a small city, complete with everything the people need. I can rant on and on for 30 minutes about Augsburg but I'm not gonna do that now.
P/S: we have wifi on trams
Okay so other than that, I have been struggling with my german language. I thought I was good, but nooo i was 100 miles far from that. I did not. Understand. A word. I mean, I can understand a few words in the sentence but not the sentence as whole bcs my brain needs to work so fast and I am not yet capable of that. Despite that, I am still clinging onto my Malaysian friends haha. Actually not because I don't want to find German friends, but they are really tough cookies to crack. I don't really mind not having a lot of friends, I might just be nuisance to them, you know.  But of course I have a few that I can talk to though. And I think that's enough haha.
Lately I think I am infected by a disease called 'lazinossporosis'. On Thursday I was like 'I'm gonna make full use in these 2 days! I'm gonna learn Werkstofftechnik, watch educational youtube videos, learn back all the notes ... (2 minutes later).. clean my room, call my friends...
Actually me on weekends: Play sims and watch drama all day.
Me on Monday: (wailing) I SHOULDVE USED MY WEEKEND WISELY *cry cry cry*
Then repeat.
Yeah. That's the reality of my life.
So to close this post, here are some pictures

(Bcs i miss herrr)

(River flowing under the Cafeteria)

(At chuseok festival hehe)

Saturday, October 28, 2017


Well, I'm 20 years old, Alhamdulillah, a few people remembered me :) I am 1000 times grateful for that. I'm grateful that I even crossed their minds. I never actually thought that I'm worth thinking about. Yesterday was my first time buying cake for myself XD. If my friends were here,  they would no doubt buy for me but too bad I'm so far away from all of em. My first experience spending my birthday completely alone wasn't as forlorn as it sounds. As a loner, asocial, and an introvert, it was in fact a healing moment. Yes I can't separate myself from a tinge of sadness that I have nobody to celebrate with, but when I think again,  why do people have to celebrate it anyway? I'm not a Nobel prize winner,  I'm not an idol, I dont give much impact to people's lives either. I shouldn't be a nuisance at least. Haha. I should get use to this feeling because I'll be having my next 5 birthdays alone too 😂😂😂. I'm quite proud of myself actually. Last two years, when my class suddenly stopped having birthday party's right before my birthday,  I cried a river lol. I expected to much of people and ended up disappointed without no good reason. My gratitude will never fade to the ones that did care. And also I want to say that it's totally okay to forget my birthday. I wish I can too, but you know.. I can't Hahaha. And I'm not being miserable. It's just a new side of me I never knew existed (maybe evolved?) I am also proud to say that I didnt cry today weeheeee. It's on the verge.  But it didnt burst XD I have been crying on my birthday for as long as I can remember and I want to stop being that sad girl. :)
So thank you again my dearies. I sincerely love you more than than myself. <3

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Frankfurt and Eid

Soooo the first Raya without family. None. Zero. Not even one. Nuh-uh. Okay you get it. I'm pretty sad. Well, no, I am so overwhelmingly sad, that even when I had a few happy hours in Frankfurt with my friends, it is safe to say that this has been the most sorrowful Eid I have ever had in my life. Is worse to come? :,) well let's all wait and see because I am pretty sure that no Raya dates in the next 5 years collide with my Semester break which meannnnnsss there is a fat chance that I will be celebrating Raya with my family anytime soon. *cries cries* *screams* *bawling my eyes out*
Okay, sooo
nevertheless, I was very grateful that my package from Malaysia came :,). Mother sent exquisite Baju Raya(s) and all these other cool stuff from Malaysia like Maggi and Milo and instant ketupat and coconut milk and what's that you said? Those are normal everyday food that you can get from the store 5 minutes away from your house? Well in Germany, zhose are gems. Nein, more valuable zhan gems. Zhose are rare gemsssss (*laughs in german)
Okay sooo to make story short, I was terribly sad (yeah I said that a thousand times) and on the raya night, I tried to call my parents but they didnt have internet so the very very kind en. Syarqawi (JPA officer) lent me his phone and I called Malaysia and cried a Rhein river, (well I mean Donau river becuase Donau is longer than Rhein) and did I mention I was enveloped with gloom? Furthermore my grandmother was hospitalized (again) that raya dawn and I just heard these sweet voices of my mom, my father, grandfather, uncle, and all of those tears just can't stop. I used most of the liquid in my body to secrete it through my eyes and guess who had two big swollen eyesss. ME. So yeah, that is how it went. I hope my grandmother gains strength again. I hope she survives this battle. And I hope I will survive my battle, here in Germany, no matter how hard it will be, I just hope I make it.

Some raya pics