Monday, April 17, 2017

봄날(Spring Day)

Yeah, I have to remind myself sometimes, that I can't just go home in the weekend.

everything just seems so near. Paris, London, Prague, Amsterdam and all of those places I have seen in books and the Internet is just one train ride away, you know. It is really too bad that I would need to travel for 24 hours to reach Malaysia but once I go back, I would want to stay for a very long time. Maybe the homesick cycle will start again, just like when I first reached here.
My brain is always full of words that I can't even speak properly in one language. How can people maintain 5 or more at the same time? I kind of want to type everything that's going on in my head without much thought, but nobody would be able to understand haih. So yeah, I've been to a few places in Germany. They're nice. Especially now that it's spring, flowers are blooming everywhere even on the train tracks and all along the path that I use to go to school. I should stop saying school because I'm already 20 but, ya, language school. I never knew flowers can make me happy. I have thought of them as a waste of money, you know, RM 40 for a few roses. You can't eat them, they can't talk. I even said to myself back then "If I ever have someone doing romantic things for me, I would'nt prefer flowers because it's such a waste" but when I first received a bouquet, I cried a river because I was so happy and touched, moreover, my own mother was the giver. And I still have some of the petals dried between the pages of the Quran.
So back to the flower story, gosh, I can't keep on track. Ya, so flowers are beautiful. Nature is so beautiful. I learn to appreciate that. Maybe I didn't know because I didn't spend much time in the forest back then. They are just so beautiful that you can here them screaming 'cheer up!' on a bad day. And not just flowers, the trees, snow, blueberries, beetles are just too cute not to smile at.

So here are a few places that I have been to:
 Bad Munstereifel
 Ludwig Museum
 Chocolate Museum
Maastricht, Netherlands

and a lot more, actually. The only EU country that I have been to (well disregarding the Heathrow Airport) is Netherlands, and ya, more to come! :)

Vielen Dank, ich schätze euch sehr, und ihr wisst das nie XD Ich freue mich darauf, neue nette Freunde an der FH anzufreunden. Ich hoffe, dass sie mich akzeptieren können TT
Schönen Tag noch! Bis dann!

Friday, January 6, 2017

Liebe Familie und Freunde,

I remembered sending off my seniors last year like it was yesterday. Here's the post. How time flies so fast that I can't even catch up with life. Is this happening? Is this really happening? Am I really going to Germany?
Now that I'm here, I still pinch myself sometimes to make sure this isn't a dream. People might think this is a nice dream, but is it? When I was a kid, I wrote a wish list on a piece of A4 paper. Number one, make my parents happy, and number 2 was studying abroad where snow falls. It was a wish I never even imagined would come true. Sure, I hoped but really being here? I think it's a miracle. Allah gave me a chance and I won't be a fool to waste it.
It wasn't even a day until I started to miss everyone. When will I go home? Can I bear this loneliness? Am I independent enough for this? What if I don't make it? I asked and thought of too many things that I don't even have the answers to.
I thought back about how my family did crazy things, like buying me crazy expensive stuff and saying crazy cheesy words. Everyday my mother asked me "what do you want to eat?". Without hesitation she bought everything I laid my eyes on. My grandfather brought me to Satay Stall. My sister used her one week allowance to buy me a present. My friends did everything they could.
I didn't want to cry when I come here. I don't want to feel homesick, not because I don't want to miss home, but I don't want to go though all this crying phase again. It pains me and I won't be able to do anything about it. Boarding school sure helped but look who's crying again, lol. Family and friends, thank you. I appreciated every single gesture and present. And I love you all.
When I arrived, it felt like -8 degrees Celsius. (although I never experienced -8). It felt like being in the freezer. I hate it already. Did I mention touching snow was number 3 on my wish list?
I dreamed winter to be a gentle pure white comfortable season but oh boy how wrong was I? It's ugly. It's slippery. It freezes. It freezes me and my heart. I'm numb all over. Despite all the hate towards winter, mother nature seemed to have a way of coaxing me. When snow fell, my heart becomes warm again. Looks like I have a soft spot for snow. The day snow falls, is the day I'm happy. Nothing can make me mad on a snowing day.
But I still hope for better days. This winter feels like forever. I hope time does its thing again, you know, flies so fast. Who knows, spring will come before I know  it. And who knows, with just a bit of patience, I will have semester break and set foot in Malaysia again :)
Please pray for me. I hope I don't fall or drift apart. I know that I am never alone. I know I can do this. I know I can.

 (so many showed up!)

 (For once, I felt like a celebrity)

 (I will buy this one day)
 (waiting at Heathrow, London)

 (these are damn good)

 (virgin snow)

I also lowkey appreciate JPA. Thank you.