My Sirius(s), I'll definitely miss you.

What a shock. This is all too fast for my mind to take. I am not ready for this. Oh God. *sigh.
Phew~ so the thing is, I got an offer. I really don't know how to react. Why did I sign up at the first place? Why did YOU sign up at the first place? Without thinking what will happen, I just did. Now, if I hear someone say 'my friend rejected an SBP/MRSM offer', I'll never think 'What a waste' like before. I'll say 'I can feel you bro'. I know how tough it is to make the decision. Best example, Pajel.
I'm equivocal. Daarshini said follow what my heart desires. How can I when I don't even know what my heart desires.
Too much silent weeping last few days. My father just changed his work place to Batu Pahat and if me and my sister go to the SBP, my mother will be left with those two kiddos. Still, I think I have no choice but to accept the offer. My whole family is counting on me, hopes and high expectations I will carry to that SBP. I'm sure Allah had decided what is best for me and all of us. Dinie and Atiqah, you'll get MRSM for sure. Those who got SASER. Just go lah.
To all my friends who are close to me, not just Chu(mel) and Can(tik) but also Fatyn, Haizi, Aina Fatnin, Tipah, Aimi and who ever else I can't list, I won't stop my love for you let alone forget. My prayers will always be with you. Also, I hope you guys don't forget me either. I am sad. I was sad and even when I started being happy in SBP, thoughts and my reluctancy leaving KGV will always be in some parts of my heart. Speaking of my heart, I'm proud of it. It has been played, stabbed, burned, broken but somehow it still works.
When holiday comes, please give me a call. I of course will have new friends there. People come and go in our life but stick this in your head: I'm loyal.

I must admit, 3 years wasn't sufficient to build a strong bond of love. Yet I will never forget those 3 long years we had. The similarities we have, Atiqah. You were my clone, remember? The differences we have, Dinie. Our love for Kpop and Islam, Pajel. Your clumsiness, Fatyn. The secret within the quietness, Aina and the all the words I wanted to say to you, you. I will never forget any of these. Whatever it is, we will meet again. I, we are not leaving forever.
I really hope you know how I really feel but what can I do? Shame covers me like plasma membrane covers the cell.
Congratulations to all.
Terima Kasih, minta maaf, saya sayang awak.

P/S: I sure have lots of houses to go this Eid. I'm sure mum'll let me.
P/P/S:Happy Birthday.
I dedicate this song to you, Aina, Pajel, Dinie, Fatyn, Tiqah,