Friday, August 22, 2014

A Vale of Tears

Someone got her Addmaths paper and it was not so good so she cried. Since she was a good friend of mine, I went to her and not make jokes exactly but nothing comfortinglah. The friend sought a crying place from her friend. While I was there, they kept saying I don't understand and will never understand. It's a matter only dumb people know, like what the hell, seriously. Okay, maybe I didn't fail or get D but I experienced C and it was just as sombre. For me, the forlornness of getting a B is just the same as failing it. I think I, myself as failed as a child; as a student. So you don't go and tell me I don't understand, okay because I do. Maybe Allah gives me tests not by failing me or giving me a D or C but something else that is far heartsick than you failing a subject. I am the one feeling it, I know.
Not failing or getting A's is my sustenance. You have your own. No need to compare me and you.
You are rich, i'm not. You have endless stock of food in your locker, I only have a few packets of Oat Crunch. What else do you want? This brain is the only thing I have working. What else have I got?
Back to the story; of the crying girl, when I wanted to touch her she suddenly was preposterous and shouted "Ada jugak yang kena lempang ni karang". I was like, heck? Slap? I hate slaps and even more, she scolded me for a mere touch and presence? I don't think I'm that good a friend am I?
You know how I hated to be scolded and I will inevitably cry when someone does so I shed a vale of tears. Why did I waste them for something so silly? Nevermind, I like wasting teardrops. It tranquilizes me in a way.
Last but not least, condolences for the families of the victims of MH17 who one of them happen to be my neighbour; Pn Mastura Mustapa. Our prayers are with you.
Let us mourn,
National Mourning Day,

1 <--I know it is zero:

Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

im sorry, maddy.