and i have had many struggles in my life.. but i think this year hits quite hard on me.
i guess maybe its the quarter life crisis hormones.. bcs i cant stop thinking and imagining about being loved.
im afraid however this struggle has chosen me.
i have to live with the fact that i might not be loved or receive romantic love ever..
its hard to wrap my head around it
when ive finally managed to embrace that im visually unfavourable, and now i have to embrace that im unlovable
bcs i thought if i were to ever have any ounce of charm in me, it would be my personality. but after countless failed 'talking stages'.. i guess its not? it's sad to realise i dont even have that in the bag. shattered my world view quite a bit. i know i didnt quite like how i look but i do like if someone behaves exactly like me. i would always wanna be my friend. but not everyone wants to be. maybe my real friends just tolerate me.
life is quite depressing isnt it
