Another Nerve-wrecking Interview

19.3.2015
I was called for an interview at Putrajaya. It was from.. is it safe to say it here? I think I shouldn't. It's not like I'm going to say something horrible or whatever, just, it's better not to. Okay
So,
that morning, woke up early, wore prep clothes (I still call baju kurung prep clothes because they are), prayed and did whatever you usually do when you're going to be interviewed. During UTP interview, I stayed a night there because it was so far away in Perak but since this one only took 1 hour from Seremban, I didn't need to! 다행 이다!
Just as I set foot in that particular hotel, my heart pounded like King Kong in rage on the Empire State Building. Why did you even do that, heart? I hate you for that. Even during talks and breaks, MY HEART DID NOT STOP DOING THAT ANNOYING THING! I know it's normal for human (am I even human) but my kind of nervousness is when I get one, I feel like I'm drowning the Pain-ific Ocean. 모리가 아바서, 배가 아바서. 아무도 아바서!! My head hurts, my stomach hurts, EVERYTHING HURTS! How dare they defy their ultimate master. 

Skipping the tedious parts, I then was asked to wait in front of the interview room ALONE. I sometimes heard roaring laughter from the room and I began to feel a little calmer thinking 'wow, they must be nice people, making jokes and all' and boy was I WRONG! Very wrong indeed. Maybe I was right, they were nice people, how can I ever judge? But making jokes? Maybe with other people but not with me. They didn't make a funny joke about how the chicken crossed the road but the joke was on me. Let me ask you, how would you feel if 4 powerful giants with mallets in their hand, ready to strike an elf like you, maiming you with words that hurt more than their mallets. If it was me, I would soak my pants out of terror. But know what? I didn't. I wanted to cry my heart out. Why were they doing this to me? It would be better if they just hit me flat with that big mallets of theirs but they hurt me with words instead. 

They made fun of the way I talk, they made fun of my teacher, they made fun of my teeth, they intentionally find my every flaw and made a joke out of it.

I know, it was their job. To find the most worthy person for the scholarship. They did it on purpose. I wasn't ready because no one had ever warned me about provoking interviewers before. 

Well now, I am warning you.

Sigh, I don't need to anyway. You guys are strong people whose hearts aren't easily broken like me. I don't know, I'm just starting to doubt myself. This is just a small interview, how can I survive Petronas or JPA later? I'm just going to do my best. If I don't get any scholarship (though it's my heart's biggest desire), I will be accepting it with an open heart. Allah surely had written a better destiny for me.