My Sirius(s), I'll definitely miss you.

What a shock. This is all too fast for my mind to take. I am not ready for this. Oh God. *sigh.
Phew~ so the thing is, I got an offer. I really don't know how to react. Why did I sign up at the first place? Why did YOU sign up at the first place? Without thinking what will happen, I just did. Now, if I hear someone say 'my friend rejected an SBP/MRSM offer', I'll never think 'What a waste' like before. I'll say 'I can feel you bro'. I know how tough it is to make the decision. Best example, Pajel.
I'm equivocal. Daarshini said follow what my heart desires. How can I when I don't even know what my heart desires.
Too much silent weeping last few days. My father just changed his work place to Batu Pahat and if me and my sister go to the SBP, my mother will be left with those two kiddos. Still, I think I have no choice but to accept the offer. My whole family is counting on me, hopes and high expectations I will carry to that SBP. I'm sure Allah had decided what is best for me and all of us. Dinie and Atiqah, you'll get MRSM for sure. Those who got SASER. Just go lah.
To all my friends who are close to me, not just Chu(mel) and Can(tik) but also Fatyn, Haizi, Aina Fatnin, Tipah, Aimi and who ever else I can't list, I won't stop my love for you let alone forget. My prayers will always be with you. Also, I hope you guys don't forget me either. I am sad. I was sad and even when I started being happy in SBP, thoughts and my reluctancy leaving KGV will always be in some parts of my heart. Speaking of my heart, I'm proud of it. It has been played, stabbed, burned, broken but somehow it still works.
When holiday comes, please give me a call.  I of course will have new friends there. People come and go in our life but stick this in your head: I'm loyal.

I must admit, 3 years wasn't sufficient to build a strong bond of love. Yet I will never forget those 3 long years we had. The similarities we have, Atiqah. You were my clone, remember? The differences we have, Dinie. Our love for Kpop and Islam, Pajel. Your clumsiness, Fatyn. The secret within the quietness, Aina and the all the words I wanted to say to you, you. I will never forget any of these. Whatever it is, we will meet again. I, we are not leaving forever.
I really hope you know how I really feel but what can I do? Shame covers me like plasma membrane covers the cell.
Congratulations to all.
Terima Kasih, minta maaf, saya sayang awak.

P/S: I sure have lots of houses to go this Eid. I'm sure mum'll let me.
P/P/S:Happy Birthday.
I dedicate this song to you, Aina, Pajel, Dinie, Fatyn, Tiqah,


Goodbye sahabat
Goodbye Adonis
Goodbye Niall.
Goodbye Kpop.
Goodbye.
Assalamualaikum

AIN

Looking back in 2012, Who am I?

I wish my friends can do this too :) 

1: What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

PMR, wore braces, read books more than ever!

2: Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No I didn't. I had never achieve my resolutions, as long as I can remember. Nevertheless, I will still make new ones despite how I know it will be just some other failures in my life.

3: Did anyone close to you give birth?

Hm,.. no.

4: Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, my uncle. He left a wife and a cute annoying child..

5: What countries did you visit?

Hell nothing. I had never been in an aeroplane. Insya-Allah.. as soon as possible!

6: What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012

Ke-diligent-an. Lolz.

7: What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

19 Dec, I should've taken my PMR results but I was in Fraser. 21 Dec stupid end of the world date that I survived. And some other dates I can't tell.

8: What was your biggest achievement of the year?

PMR! HEHEE

9: What was your biggest failure?

Failing to stop my heart beating so fast when I hear his name. Who? NIALL HORAN.

10: Did you suffer illness or injury?

Alhamdulillah, no. Even if there was, it wasn't serious lah.

11: What was the best thing you bought?

Food

12: Whose behaviour merited celebration?

Dinie's!

13: Whose behaviour made you appalled?

Pajel's! She's not as Asian as I thought. :D

14: Where did most of your money go?

Food

15: What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Going to PD with a bicycle! and, when I was going to go to Genting and eat suuuuuuushiiiiiiiiiiii.

16: What song will always remind you of 2012?

When Can I See You Again- Owl City

17: Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer?

neutraler, fatter, richerrrrrrrrrrr. I got Raya money BABEY

18: What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I did more praying, Quran reading and excersising

19: What do you wish you’d done less of?

Eating

20: How did you spend Christmas?

I don't celebrate Christmas. Should I tell you about Eid then? My Eid was great just like my other Eids. Check this out!

21: Did you fall in love in 2012?

Um,.. I don't know.

22: What was your favourite TV program?
DORAE-MOooooooN~

23: Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. I'm sorry guys they are with One Direction! I'm so mad about that. I know, selfish right?

24: What was the best book you read?

Harry Pottah!

25: What was your greatest musical discovery?
One Direction! Oh, that was 2011.. Um, but I saw this awesome video which the song writer draws musical notes on the lines at the same time draw other things like birds or whatever. I like that.

26: What did you want and get?
I wanted many things in 2012. I have to say, I got many of them. Food, air, bed, family, sleep, clothes, shoes, life, good results..

27: What did you want and not get?
And there are more things I did not get but you can't just waste money like sand, right so just be patient and you'll be able to buy them when you've become a doctor, Ainatul!!!

28: What was your favourite film of this year?
Rise of the Guardians.

29: What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I got in the same class with my loved ones. I realized how I need them more than ever now since all of us aren't in the same class. This is depressing, really.

30: How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Nerd, serabai, selekeh and sloppy like usual.

31: What kept you sane? 
Dinie, Fadzlin and Aina. Also, Lower form Mathematics. I'm really insane now that I'm sure that I'll have ZERO time to play games, watch Korean things and know the outside news.

32: Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
ONE DEE-RECK-SHON!

33: What political issue stirred you the most?
Bersih? Lol.

34: Who did you miss?
Aina Fatnin..

35: Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
I should appreciate Form 3 because Form 4 is hell.

36: Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
Matilah Kau.- Once.

AIN